Today I said, “Divine mother, speak to me.” And so she did.
“I want to hear you open up.” And so she did.
I was in the dish room, she came in and said, “That was just such a lovely meal, all that peeling and chopping that you did. Thank you.”
I heard her whisper to me, “Make grilled cheese sandwiches and fruit salad for dinner, that will make the people happy”. So I did.
She spoke to me today, over and over again. She came to me and told me many things.
I told her about how the full moon last night, drew poison out of me, in the form of my emotions. The darkness became exposed and it was painful and stung like arrows. She told me today, “As sensitive as you are to the darkness and the negativity, you can become equally as sensitive to the light”. She walked away and I told her, “You are a good brother” because that was how she came to me in that moment.
Speak to me I told her as I fervently washed the dishes, speak to me, I am open to hearing you.
She called me on the phone and told me, “Thank you for spending time with Mary yesterday, she had so much fun with you and how you let her drive the golf cart. She is shy sometimes but she really had fun with you.” Divine mother made me feel good about having fun while I was working.
Speak to me divine mother speak to me.
She told me to write this blog, she asked me to write a college scholarship application, she woke me up this morning to do yoga. She is inside of me and you. She was the full moon last night, drawing me up the hill to sit and bask in her moonlit night. She is the love that pours through my dear friend, she is the discipline that pours through him too. She is with me when I go to my room at night alone and sit on my bed and think of her. She is in the music in my headphones when I lay down with my crystals and drift into sleep. She plans things for my life and when I let go and let her do things, they turn out beautiful and they are easy.
She is the soft voice of community dining in the dinner hall. And today she told me, “why have two enemies when you can have two friends.” So I stopped judging them and I started appreciating and loving them. I started to see them as my family. I love my family and I don’t judge them, I accept them and hear them. These people are becoming my family.
I dreamed last night and she showed me, I was holding onto the past. A figment of my imagination, something that once existed but was no longer real. She told me I could eat gluten again, and potato chips and sometimes a cookie. And it was fine, I didn’t die and it was fun.
I don’t care anymore, I don’t need to worry about myself and what will happen because every time I let go and I love a little bit more, life is beautiful again. In this beautiful space that I have created from choice, from choosing positivity and light, she can come, she can enter.
I was crying outside on the grass this morning. Life felt very painful and my heart was overcome with sorrow. My head was in my hands and I was hunched over letting the tears drip down my face. She came to me and put her hand on my back. She brought me green tea with agave and told me, “unless you are going deep in meditation, there is really no point of being here”. It made me think and made me remember her.
Kali, you are everywhere. Inside me and all around me and the more I remember this, I can never be apart. One day, I won’t be apart from you, I will be you.
Clarity West has written professionally for several years, she is also a screenwriter and director. Clarity loves to be creative and works with a variety of mediums including graphic design, paint and print. Her love for yoga and meditation inspired her blog which follows her life and films which explore spirituality and truth.
Yoga Girl East West is her blog. http://yogagirleastwest.blogspot.com/